Betapa tersiratnya diam itu

Diam bukan bererti daku lemah

Bukan juga bereti daku benci

Namun sebaliknya..

Diam itu memberi ruang kepada hati

Memberi ruang kepada minda

Demi untuk mengubati hati yang rapuh

Pemikiran yang mudah dipengaruhi

Oleh anasir-anasir lain yang ingin melihat kita terpesong

Diam itu bereti daku ingin ruang dan waktu

Bagi menyembuh hatiku ini yang lara

Setiap detik berlabuh dalam kesepian malam yang dingin

Merenungi langit.. Mengamati alam

Benak fikiran, Indahnya bumi ciptaan DIA

Diamku untuk berfikir...

Bukan berfikir mengenai perasaan daku sendiri sahaja

Malah untuk mengubati hati ini.

Diam itu berarti penuh kesabaran

Tersulam dalamnya penuh ketabahan

Kerna bukan mudah bagi menyembuhkan luka sendiri

Luka yang banyak di rahsiakan

Hanya mampu mengukir senyuman

Senyuman terimbau seribu kedukaan dia

Namun hati tetap tabah mengukir senyuman kepada dia

Bukan bererti diamku untuk mengugutmu

Bukan juga bererti untuk mnegertakmu

Malah tidak sama sekali ingin menyakiti dirimu

Namun ia hanya untuk menarik perhatianmu

Tetapi kamu tidak menyedarinya

Berilah masa dan ruang untuk menyelami perasaanku

Seandainya tidak mampu...

Maka  biarlah aku bersedih dalam diam

Allah lah yang akan mengubati kesedihanku ini

First Day in University of Kent

Assalamualaikum wbt

Kami tiba di University of Kent dengan menaiki Teksi. Pemandu teksi yang memandu kami ke universiti merupakan seorang pakcik yang sangat baik dan memberikan kami idea mengenai negara di United Kingdom. Alhamdulillah, pada malam kami tiba kami sudah mempunyai kunci bilik masing-masing. Ya Allah, betapa sejuknya malam itu. Kami tidak membiasakan diri terhadap suhu di sini lagi.

Walaupun rumah saya lebih jauh daripada rumah sahabat-sahabat saya yang lain. Sejujurnya saya berasa sunyi apabila seorang diri sahaja dalam bilik. Pada awal-awal itu, sering kali menangis kerana berasa sunyi sangat. Pada malam itu, saya tidur dalam keadaan kesejukan kerana tidak mempunyai selimut untuk menyelubungi diri.

Hihi. Alhamdulillah selamat mengharungi malam pertama di United Kingdom. Ketika itu suhu tidak lah serendah mana cuma 13 degree celcius. ^_^ Pada pagi itu kami mula berjalan-jalan sekitar kampus dengan bantuan housemate Zubair, Jack, Dia juga merupakan seorang yang baik kerana mempunyai masa untuk tunjuk jalan dalam universiti walaupun baru sahaja berkenalan.

Alhamdulillah kami banyak mengetahui liku-liku perjalanan untuk ke kelas malah kami ramai bertemu dengan pelajar malaysia di sini. Mereka menyambut kami dengan senyuman mesra. Paling menarik, kami tidak mengenali antara satu sam yang lain namun kami bertegur sapa seolah-olah kami sudah lama berkenalan. Pengalaman ini sangat menarik. Alhamdulillah, sememangnya perasaan ini tidak dapat di rasai di Malaysia.

Alhamdulillah :)

Arrival! Heathrow~

Assalamualaikum wbt

Alhamdulillah setelah hampir 13 Jam berada di dalam kapal terbang akhirnya kami tiba di balai ketibaan Heathrow International Airport. Inilah pertama kali kami tiba di bumi United Kingdom tanpa seorang pensyarah pengiring mengiringi kami ke University of Kent, Canterbury.

Perasaan takut menyelubungi diri apabila kita tidak mempunyai sebarang pengetahuan mengenai sistem di sini. Alhamdulillah ada juga dua jejaka ini, Zubair dan Dzul yang banyak membantu kami mengangkat barangan kami.

Ketika kami ingin check-out ke bahagian imegresen. Pelbagai persoalan yang timbul dalam fikiran. Adakah kami selamat? Semoga segalanya berjalan dengan lancar. Setelah beratur selama 10 minit, kini giliran kami untuk bertemu pegawai. Pada mulanya, mereka hanya inginkan dokumen kami serta kepastian kami sebagai pelajar di Universiti of Kent.

Alhamdulillah juga kami tiada permasalahan mengenai  Visa pelajar kerana visa pelajar hanya di beri untuk pelajar yang belajar selama setahun ataupun lebih. Kami hanya memperoleh Visa sementara dan kami tidak dibenarkan untuk bekerja kerana visa sementara kami.

Setelah kami keluar dari tempat imegresen, kami di sambut mesra oleh pertukaran pelajar Kent-UTM Ryan Jhonson yang menjemput kami. Ryan banyak membantu kami dalam pembelian sim kad "Lebara" kami serta membantu kami dalam perjalanan kami di London ini.

Semoga perjalanan kami dipermudahkan olehNya. InsyaAllah.
Alhamdulillah

Sadness?

Some laugh with happiness
Some laugh but with sadness
Some cry with happiness
Some just cry because they are sad

How would you try to differentiate that?

You would need to know the person very well to know to differentiate these typical things. Sometimes its not because of someone hurting you, its because you cannot grasp what people have said..

By nature, people do not take up new things easily. They need to adapt to it. But ego will come and conquer this feeling of adapting to the new environment.

You would really regret it when ego come because you will say things that would really hurt you even more. Ironic, our own ego will tend to hurt you even more when you do not rational things peacefully within yourself.

That is when we tend to remember the phrase La Tahzan, Do not be sad. Why?
Because Allah is there for you :)

But  It is just hard to smile, when you know your heart aches
But eventually things pass by, and we heal.

P/s: It was not your fault. It just seems like I have to swallow the whole thing you said at that same time. My heart just can not up take all of them. It was a nice deal :) And you did it for both our sake, I'm glad and happy. But it is just like I said before, I can not take it as a whole YET but slowly..

Thank you. InsyaAllah I will heal

Coming Back!

 

Assalamualaikum wbt.

It has been a while since the last post. Alhamdulillah I have inspiration to write up again. My apologies if most of my writing came from within my heart, inspiration by most of the people. Inspiration from my families but the most importantly it came from Allah. SubhanAllah.

Today the post is going to be in English. InsyaAllah I am trying to write it up well enough.

During awal muharram of 2012 on 15 of November, we were shocked with the news on the attacked of zionist on Palestine. The first thing I realized was that, I was shocked. But truthfully I cried after a few days of thinking about how I can help my fellow brother and sisters there. Yes, I have no power, no monetary support but I only have du'a as the ONLY help to offer to them in Gaza.

I realized that there are many issue stirring up between the non-muslim who did not understand fully about the situation that is happening in Gaza. Most people only understand the lies and deception which has been spread by people who wants to twist the truth to show their illusion of innocence. I myself do not consider to understand the matter fully or should I say not even touch the surface of it. I should say that I only have the knowledge of the thin air blowing on the surface.

Why do I say that I only have the knowledge of the thin air blowing on the surface?
We touch the ground means the surface, the knowledge that you have is you have a firm knowledge on what is going on but not the depth of it. The thin air is consider how the knowledge that you have is consider to be come just for a second and disappear. That is how I see it. I can only blame myself for not knowing.

Now, there is a lot of protest against the zionist action toward Gaza. I can only say that it is inhumane! All over the world there is protest. Even in Canterbury, United Kingdom there is one on the 17th November. Some of the students and/or residents disagree on why the Kent Palestine Society is doing this. When I was strolling down a comment which intrigues me, I read a lot on it. And it was a conversation between a muslim student here and some non-muslim student.

Among their comments, my eyes catches these line "....Gaza shot first at Israel...." and some about muslims and Islam. Suddenly my heart ache at the thought of reading all of this. Its not their fault, that these thinking are embedded within their minds. However, I urge that people would have it in their heart to learn more about the war between Palestine and Gaza. This is also a reminder for myself in order not to be tangled up in a web of lies nor some scheme to divert the truth. I do not want that!

Yes, I have lived in the United Kingdom and started to learn that people would like to know Islam as well. I lived in a house with two boys and three girls including myself. One of them is an atheist, and she asked me " What is your religion?" And I answered it simple I am Islam, are you disturbed with me living in the same house. She said No, I am fine with it. And smile.

Another one of my housemate, is an exchange student as well from the United State. She did not asked about my religion or anything. But one scenario surprise me, one night I was having dinner with one of my friend which is a boy at my house. And suddenly she came down without wearing pants, only a long T-shirt to cover her. She was surprised to see him there and she went back upstairs to wear some pants again then coming back down. SubhanAllah.. Only Allah know how much it meant for me to see her to cover herself in front of my friend. :)